4/20/11

[journalism]
"negligee...thats kind of awkward"

"he goes into the woods and tracks people according to their bladder"

"thats something you shouldnt do...is let your dog drive"

"that adds to the OMG factor"
"subjects hearts verb!"

"once you accept it, its not arbitrary"

"there's no philosophy. i want you to be machines. No, i'm serious, stop laughing!"

[geophysics]

"its like shark week but with resistivity!"

"its like geophysical Oija board!"

"now take it to the map room and find the well of souls...actually it looks kinda like Gandalf's staff too"

[seismology]

"we can take a fish off the bottom of the ocean and watch it explode!"

"they do experiments where they shake people!"

All of Winter Quarter

So the funny quotes have been far and few between, but here's the comprehensive list that I've discovered from going back over my notes in honor of finals week:

"Earth's magnetic field is pretty weak. Its pathetic, really."

"delamination: the HoHo's of convection"

"There are zero kids. Together they have one apple...Augh! Traumatizing!"

"this is the mathematical 'to be or not to be'!"

"no. stop. no, don't stop"

"This system is sort of joke" --The prof isn't a native English speaker, sometimes he leaves out pronouns and articles.

"Can you multiply two vectors? mmmm...no. well yes. but not now."

"This is not for humans to do. But you are not humans, you are students! you signed up for this!" --same prof, on lots of algebra with matrices.

"I dont want to denote tV. I don't respect it. You dont see much math on tv."

"ok. I vant more action! i vant morrre action!" --he likes to roll his r's for as long as possible.

"Book doesn't have notation that is on Wikipedia. What kind of nonsense is that?"



Yeah, it was a comedically disappointing quarter. 


:

11/11/10

[physics]
"you can't see the other side, all you see is cake"

"forces that make things solid, not a gas or a marshmallow"

"there's got to be some forcey-ness that way!"

"this is friggin genius right here, I'm telling you!"

"so here's my fancy party trick...F=ma!"

"notice though, how awesome this is..."

"I hope someone is thinking ' where did theta go damnit?"

[calculus2]

"did you hear what i just said? i said 'reason alots'"

"and by the way...no i'll say it at the end"

"at least it makes us feel..it makes us feel...how do we feel about this?"

"1,2,3,4,5,F, it doesn't fit"

"and that is something I can take the derivative of. Its so DARK outside. and I set this equal to A..."

"green, yellow, whatever, its an ugly color"

"i think i have to go real big...this isnt enough...this is SHOCKING!"

"because otherwise this whole punchline would just be stupid."

"ok so i did officially break the internet...you guys can believe me forever"

"do you guys have any questions?...just cuz?"

"i'm sort of making this up, but thats ok"

"I need to say this, so this is what I have said"

"it'll come right back eventually"

"numeracy...the british are weird"

"I'm lookening...lookening?...I'm lookening at..."

"how do you get over there? Does he fly? I guess he flies. He really likes the whiteboard. shocking!" (referring to a fly that was just on his desk)

'literally in my notes it says 'this sucks, lets do better""

"we're going to do something ridiculously hard! its called find the area of this thing.."

"this is approximately equal to something!"

10/28/10

[physics]

"oh look! its the mystery force!...come back..."

[calculus2]

-"can we shut the door?"
"No! I will shut the door...so you cant!"
-"..oh"

"If I let P be less than 1, it BLOWS UP!'

"which is interesting because its finite and squooshed...whatever...its whatever"

"we're waving our hands pretty vigorously at this thing"

"that is a good one...I wont elaborate"

"the exponential function kills everything"

"this is something we need to remember about how numbers work"

"Someone may jump out of the bushes at you and hold a gun to your head and demand to know if an integral converges or diverges. Now, in the thirty seconds they give you, you can figure it out....maybe they'll give you cake if you get it right"

"its hard when you are stuck in this maze of crap to remember what you are doing. oh yeah, I'm doing something meaningful"

"No one? these problems were a cakewalk? oh maybe you were studying for the quiz..."

"if I add one to something, it gets bigger, thats how it works"

"the 1/x guy is bad at both sides"

10/22/10

[GIS]

"even fourth level Jedi knights run into this kinda stuff. Is it AND or OR?"

"we hit verify to check it, and no, that dog doesn't hunt"

[Calculus 2]

"*tiny sneeze* ...whoa"

"it seems that we've got two different answers, and thats because we have"


"I could work it out, but I dont want to, so I wont. So there"

"sins and arcsins are useful and good to remember...but they are kinda weird"

"its like we are anthropomorphizing the integral and calling it rude...or crude or vulgar"

"and that equals 1/2...so thats life"


[Physics]

"We're going to do the same thing we always do...try to take over the world..no, we're going to draw diagrams"

"gravity is kinda the odd man out"

"you could believe him, but then you wouldn't be able to sleep at night"

"try it with your fuzzy dice in your car from the rearview mirror"

"you are an ant sitting on your dashboard  and suddenly the fuzzy dice just come out of nowhere and hike themselves off backwards. 'what is happening?" you say. You say that."

10/21/10 [calculus2]

"AUGH!!!!!" he chucked the pen across the room as a class-opener.


"lame one number five"

"I couldnt see it; it was too close"

"maybe I should just ask you if there were questions you worked out that didnt work out that you want me to work out on the board. Right now."

"and now we've proved 0=2"
- "thats not the answer in the book!"
"...you got 0=2 as well?!"
-"many sources say 0=2"
-"I got it right."
"what did I do wrong?"
-"I dont know" 
the dashes are student responses.


"thats a lot of crap"  referring to the very long problem on the board.


"algebra has a half-life of error...no its more like a Poisson distribution or whatever. But its ok, we dont care that much. So its whatever"

"I hate saying 'this is a rule and you should remember this'"

"and lets keep going we can keep going"

10/20/10 [physics]

"whats that show where you can call a friend? You know. You can call a friend. You can call bunches of friends. You can call anybody in this class"

"If you call it Bob, and you call that other thing Bob, then the two had better equal each other"

"you know sometimes we make wrong turns and that's ok. We can do this all day"

"Then you put your algebra hat on and start wading in though the weeds"